Reasons Not to Date a Veterinarian

Or Anyone in Veterinary Medicine...

So the other day, one of my fellow vet med friends posted a link to this article on eHarmony about 15 reasons to date a veterinarian. Obviously I had to read it out of curiosity. And let me tell you, it's not true. Not only is it not true, but I bet James would 100% disagree with everything on that list. Well, almost everything

- They’re patient. Their furry patients can be stubborn and aggressive.Vets respond to chaos with patience, gentleness and a calming demeanor.

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Um, lies. Patience is a virtue I lack along with many of my coworkers. To be fair, I'm much more patient at work than I am at home (otherwise I'd totally be out of a job!), but when a dog, or more likely a cat, is trying to kill us? That's what muzzles and sedation are for. That's what we respond to chaos with. Drugs. Better living through chemistry. Unfortunately, in real life, you can't just slap a muzzle on someone and sedate them when they're getting on your nerves. It really is a shame though, think of how much better the world would be if you could!

- Veterinarians have rigorous hygiene standards. (No, your date won’t smell like a barn when she arrives for dinner.)

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False. There is a 100% chance your date will smell like a barn... or worse. They will also probably have some sort of bodily fluid (or body part!) on their clothing somewhere. There's a chance it may have been there most of the day. These things happen. Good news? Your date will have very well washed hands. As for the rest of them? No promises. There are days I come home and I can't even tell you what some of the stains on my clothes are from. I'd really rather not know, and you probably don't either. James wishes I would change clothes as soon as I walk in the door. I'll be honest and tell you most of the time I'm just too exhausted and collapse on the couch. Gross, but true. 

-Veterinarians make kids smile, helping their pets recover from injuries and illnesses, and showing them how best to care for their canine pals.

Um, I'm pretty sure that's pediatricians that are good with kids. People in veterinary medicine are good with animals. Not quite sure where eHarmony got this from, but nice try. Not saying they aren't good with kids, but it's no guarantee. Unless it's a child with 4 legs and fur. Everyone loves fur children.