My Dogs Are Not Invited to my Wedding

So, if you know just one thing about me, it's that I'm pretty much obsessed with my dogs. You also know that I think Winnie is damn near perfect and Annabelle's soul purpose in life is to cause trouble wherever she goes.  Needless to say the first comments we got after announcing our engagement was whether or not the dogs were going to be in the wedding. Specifically we were asked if Annabelle would be the flower girl and if Winnie would be the ring bearer. 

No. Just, no. (Although I must admit they both look pretty awesome in clothes)

Reason #1? Annabelle would eat the cake. And probably run away. 

Reason #2? Winnie would put her tennis ball in everyone's lap. Gross. 

I should probably be honest here and say that if I wasn't going to be wearing a white dress and if I really had my way, Winnie would totally be invited. But I'll be wearing white. She's not compatible with white clothing. Black hair + tennis ball dirt + slobber = Disaster.

We have decided that instead of having our dogs ruin be involved in our wedding, we will try to incorporate them into our Save the Date cards. You know, once we actually have a date and all. I hear that's pretty important to establish first. 

Anyway, I had some ideas about how I wanted to have them involved... mainly that I want the card to be a picture of them rather than of us. I don't want my face on someone else's fridge. No way. So obviously I consulted Dr. Google to see what others have done. 

Here's some examples of ones I like:

This one is my absolute fave. Only we would have to have either one dog on each side, or both in the middle. How we'll get them to sit there I have no idea. Someone will just have to hold a ball in front of Winnie. She'll sit like a statue for days. Annabelle? Gah, I have no idea. Cooperating isn't really on her agenda so we'll see...

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This one might be easier to accomplish. Only, I don't want the boots there. Just a cute sign in between them. 

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This one is also super cute and potentially doable. The signs are from etsy - I love them. 

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So, there ya have it. My dogs are mostly terrible creatures who will absolutely not be invited to my wedding but I'm still totally obsessed with them and will involve them in some way. I mean, to be honest, so much of our time is spent yelling at playing with them that it seems only fair they get to play a role ;)

Head on over to the Tall Tails link up to see other people who are obsessed with their pets!

Tall Tails: That Time Winnie Thought She Hated The Beach

Shortly after we got Winnie we discovered her obsession with love for water. I mean, the dog will attempt to swim in a puddle. And she doesn't just splash around, she will completely submerge herself in water. On a hike? She's great off leash... unless she HEARS water. She doesn't even have to see it, if she just hears the sound of a creek or stream she gets excited and you better believe that as soon as we get close she's gone. She will run full speed ahead and launch herself into whatever body of water she has found. Even if its a grand total of 3 inches deep. 

So, naturally, we planned a beach trip with my mom and one of her dogs. I was certain that Winnie would LOVE the beach. I was wrong. On the first day Winnie decided she HATED the water. If I would start to walk in she'd grab her toy from me and plop it down in dry sand. 

Winnie's thoughts on this whole beach idea...

My mom's dog? Loved the beach. I kept telling Winnie she could no longer call herself a retriever. When we passed a couple of labs playing fetch in the water I was so ashamed of my 'retriever' who didn't have one drop of water on her. 

What the heck is that dog doing near that water?

Gotta make sure that water doesn't get too close...

She did, however, decide that we must have taken her to the beach so she could lay on the couch. She's not allowed on furniture at home, but clearly that's what vacation is for. She was being a terrible excuse for a retriever and I was quite ashamed of her. I mean, sure, get on the furniture - its fine because you DON'T HAVE A DROP OF SALT WATER ON YOU. You non retriever, you. We drove over 3 hours to the outer banks for you to sit on a couch?!? Yes, of course we did.

Lazy.

Finally on the last day my mom decided maybe she just needed some encouragement. It was April (I think?) in Nag's Head. The water was cold. I wasn't about to get in there to lure my so called retriever into the water. She should be running head first in there herself. Apparently my mom is nicer than me (no big shocker there...) and braved the freezing water and Winnie tentatively followed. I mean, she can't let someone just take her ball away. I finally caved and joined in and Winnie finally manned up and was able to reclaim her title as a retriever... and reclaim my love as I'm pretty sure I had disowned her by this point.

 So there you have it. That time I was so excited to bring my dog to the beach and she hated it. But then changed her mind and loved it. And so I loved her again. And although I'm pretty sure I've more than exceeded the limit for appropriate number of dog pics in one post I'm gonna post one more. Because it's my favorite of us. And because I'm obsessed with my dog. Don't hate.

Look at us walking off into the sunset all in love and such. Wanna see more people who love their pets? Go check out the Tall Tails link up!

I Hate People Who Put Their Dogs in Clothes...

Don't You?!?

Well, OK, I do. But my dogs may have worn an outfit a time or two. Mainly Annabelle. It's possible she has a vast wardrobe complete with outfits for nearly every holiday. In my defense (is there any defending oneself in this situation?!?) I didn't buy most of them myself - they were gifts. You see, despite how incredibly terrible Annabelle is, she seems to have gathered quite the fan club and as a result has received plenty of outfits as gifts. And sometimes when I get lost in Target I just might end up browsing dog clothes. It's a possibility.

And in case you think Winnie managed to escape all the torture...

So there ya go, don't judge me too harshly. Although you gotta admit - it's pretty entertaining :)

Head on over to the Tall Tails link up to see some cute pets who probably aren't wearing clothes. (but i'm sure they totally wish they were...)

Dog Toys are a Waste of Money

OK, I'm sure it's completely obvious by now but I'm obsessed with I love my dogs. Well, most of the time at least. I also have a very bad toy buying habit. Mostly for Winnie because Annabelle has no interest in toys. She can't possibly be bothered with such things... unless it's time to steal them from Winnie. Then it's her favorite past time ever. I think there are currently 3 or 4 of Winnie's bones stashed away where Annabelle has hid them in our bedroom. Brat. 

Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. Basically, I spend too much money on dog toys for the Winifred. This would be all fine and dandy except that her favorite thing in life is paper towels. No joke. You could put a steak on the table & a paper towel next to it & she'd steal the paper towel. 

I recently spent $60 replenishing her toy supply. That red thing right there? One of her new toys. That white thing she's eating? A paper towel. Way to show your appreciation, Winnie. 

And this is what happens when you take Winnie to brunch. She steals your napkins and eats them like she's never been fed before. Classy. Real classy. This garnered a lot of strange looks from fellow brunch lovers. I'm sure they were wondering why our poor, starving dog is having to resort to paper napkins. She loves them though - and usually if they have food on them, she'll rip that part off and leave it. How dare you taint her paper products with food. So gross. Give her plain paper and she's happy as a clam. 

Basically she's the weirdest/dumbest dog ever and instead of wasting money on toys I should probably just give her a life time supply of paper products. And tennis balls. Although honestly she'd have a tough time deciding between the two if she had to. 

Head on over to the Tall Tails link up to see more ridiculous pets!

Workin like a Dog...

So, last week I was lazy and didn't feel like writing a real post. Therefore to take the attention off my laziness I decided to showcase how ridiculously lazy my dogs are. If you'd like to see approximately one million pictures of my dogs being absolutely worthless (but still somehow pretty freakin adorable) please click here. 

Now, I know my dogs can't be the only lazy ones out there, but I still feel I may have painted a slightly unfair picture of them. I mean, when I sit down and think about it, I realize that they actually work really, really hard. 

 For starters, there's all the chores around the house that need to be done.

They're both TONS of help with the laundry and Winnie even likes to go that extra mile and do the dishes, too. 

Then there's all the computer work to be done.

Annabelle always likes to comment on pictures of herself on Facebook and Winnie chats online with tech support when I screw up something with our TV. (for the record that only happened once and it was an accident!)

Both dogs have a creative side, too.

Annabelle is quite the budding musician (she needs a little work on her vocals, though) and Winnie likes to practice her balancing routine. 

There are always things to be done outside the house, too. Need to run an errand? Just send the dogs.

Winnie's got some mad driving skills (a manual, no less!), but she needs a little work on picking out proper groceries. Don't worry, she's over 21... in dog years at least.

When we come home from work they take care of us, too. Annabelle gives a mean massage. 

I'm sure she's not at all mad about having to share her seat.

Winnie also does a little farm sitting on the side. She can fill up water troughs like a pro. I'm not sure she quite understands the concept, but she tries.

Heading to the beach? Bring Winnie, she's a great life guard. Check out those Baywatch moves.

In her free time Annabelle likes to hone her Poker skills. We're hoping to send her to Vegas soon to win us some money. She does have quite the serious Poker face.

Unfortunately we don't have the same high hopes for Winnie. Just counting her balls seems to puzzle her poor little retriever brain.

Ah, well. It's a good thing she's the sweet one. She certainly doesn't have much going for her in the brains department. 

After all that work they do it's not surprising they sleep so much. I mean, clearly they lead exhausting lives. 

Want to know more? Of course you do. Read more about devilish little Annabelle or sweet, but not so bright Winnie.

Now head on over to the Tall Tails link up to read about more cute pets :)

Tall Tails!!

You guys, I am SO excited for the new Tall Tails link up with Adriana and Katie. I mean seriously, like I needed even more of an excuse to ramble on about my dogs. 

I have two dogs. Winnie and Annabelle. Winnie's the good one and Annabelle... well she keeps life interesting I guess you could say. I already talked about Winnie when I proclaimed last Wednesday Winnie Wednesday. If you want to read about the most perfect dog ever, go check that out. She's kinda dumb, but super lovable and always tries to do her best to be a good girl. Today's post will be dedicated to Annabelle. A former pharmaceutical research dog who wiggled her way into our lives and has kept us on our toes ever since!

Yeah, that's right, she's wearing a princess dress.

Remember how I just described Winnie up there? Well Annabelle is the complete opposite. She's ridiculously smart, is generally just annoyed by everything, and does only what she wants when she wants. Everyone who sees pictures of her thinks she's just the cutest, sweetest thing they've ever seen.

Who, me?

I'll admit, she's certainly got cuteness on her side. But don't for a second confuse cute with innocent. Cute she is. Innocent she is not. If she's not snoring away on the couch or the bed then there's a 95% chance she's getting into trouble somewhere. The other 5% just means she's looking for something bad to do but hasn't found it yet.

It was already open, I just found it like this. I swear.

Main offense #1 - the fridge. Yes, she can and will open the refrigerator and help herself to a little snack. All 12 pounds of her will climb right on in there until she finds something to her liking. Major damage so far? 1 pack of hamburger buns. 48 ounces of chocolate in 24 hours. An entire loaf of banana bread including the bottom of the foil pan. So much dog food that she could barely breathe. Literally. Oh, and once she ran away and apparently ate out of a dumpster for ~8 hours. When we made her vomit she weighed 3 pounds less afterwards! 3 pounds! When you only weight 12 pounds that's impressive!**

This is what it's like to eat dinner with Annabelle around.

Food isn't her only vice. You need to watch your drinks, too. She's quite the boozehound. She loves cheering on the Tarheels with us, but I think it's mainly because she likes wearing her jersey and trying to steal our drinks. James says she's like a sorority girl - she'll flirt with you & kiss you, but she's really just hoping for a free drink.

Yeah, we put our dog in a 12 pack. Don't judge us, PETA.

We don't take Annabelle many places, she's not really a fan of most things. We did try taking her to the beach once. And only once. 

I'm sure you can tell by her face how much she loved it. She's more of a homebody really. It's better that way. For everyone.

She is also remarkably talented at injuring herself. This one particular incident we were all upstairs and heard that lovely beagle scream coming from downstairs. We ran down to find bloody little paw prints all over the floor and one of her toenails hanging halfway off. No clue how she did it. Good thing I can provide a little at home vet care.

I have to say though, despite all her faults, she is the world's BEST snuggler. I mean, this dog can curl up and nap with you like no other. And she's more than happy to snuggle up to you allll day long. Great when you're sick, bad when you need to be productive and get things done. 

Want to read about more cute dogs?!? If your answer is yes (which it should be!) then head on over to the Tall Tails link up and check out some other dog-centric posts!

**I work in veterinary medicine so no need to warn me about the dangers of dogs eating everything under the sun including chocolate. I already know all about it and Annabelle is treated appropriately each and every time.**